"O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love i better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you;
Your right hand upholds me."
Today I was able to escape for a bit to Caribou and have some good God time. At first I was just crying out to God, telling him I can't do this. It's too hard. But then I went to Psalm 63. "Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me." I realized I have no idea how I could get through this right now without fully believing these truths. God is my help, He is the one who upholds me. Because of him, because of Christ, and because of the Holy Spirit that lives within me, I can do this. And most of all, through this trial I fully believe God will receive glory.
I've gotten a couple of emails from friends saying they are impressed with my faith and perseverance through this. But that fact is I have to trust God or I would break down. I have to have faith and cling to God and his promises or my whole world will fall apart. I have to believe that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and have been called according to his purpose or what would be the point of this all. I have to have faith in God because everything in this world I know will fail me. I have to have faith because God is my everything.