Saturday, August 29, 2009

running

I've started to pick up running again slowly this summer, but have actually committed to it the past two weeks. Tonight I was pondering life and such while I was running and decided I really do like running. I hate the first few times when my body hates me for being dormant for so long, but once I hit a week of running, I love it.

Tonight I hit the six mile mark. (Which makes me wonder, when can I officially claim to be a runner? Is it when I run a certain distance? Is it when I run consistently for a certain amount of time? Is it when I run a mile in a certain amount of time?) It kind of bummed me out that I only ran 6 miles because my body could have done more. (My competitive nature was screaming at me to keep going.) But it was 1:30AM and I should sleep sometime...but now it is 2:45AM, so my plan still didn't work out so well.

Tonight I was also pondering the reasons I enjoying running. I thought I would enlighten you all.

-It allows me to unashamedly be an introvert. I don’t have to worry about acting a certain way around certain people. I can be alone and don’t have to constantly think about whom I should be spending my time right now. (Though I will say I do enjoy saying ‘good morning’ to all of the older ladies in my neighborhood who like to go for walks.) I can play the role of an extrovert extremely well, but sometimes I just don’t want to. I want to be able to escape.

-It gives me control. (This may or may not be a good thing.) I feel like the last four months of my life have been extremely unpredictable rollercoaster. I know God has a purpose in this rollercoaster and I trust him fully to bring me to the end of it. Most of this trusting takes the form of sitting back and waiting. (Some of it requires me to take steps of faith too, but I feel like steps at time are easier to take than just waiting.) There are few things that I feel like I actually control and running is one of them. (But now thinking about this, I could easily fall and break myself, so I guess I’m not in control as much as I think.) I know when I run what will happen. I know how far I will be able to run. I know how hard I can push my body. I know how I will feel when I am done. It’s predictable and in my life right now I enjoy predictable things.

-It is a time when I commune with God. When I run, it is just me and God. Thoughts and worries of the world seem to quickly escape my mind; my thoughts seem to be saturated with truth when I run. My mind is fixed on him alone. I can’t even explain the fellowship I feel during these times. It is a time when I can escape from the world and be alone with the God who loves me.

No comments: