Friday, October 30, 2009

mr. caribou man (part X)

Dear Mr. Caribou Man,
Sorry I have not written to you this week.  Today you were only at Caribou on Wednesday and Friday.  It was slightly disappointing.  There was no chair close to you today for me to read and attempt to talk to you, so I had to sit in the corner by myself.  But when I walked by you, you said 'good morning' and gave me a sweet grandpa smile.  It made my morning.  Thanks Mr. Caribou Man.
Until Monday,

ps So I think I've finally admitted that I may be a creepy stalker girl.  May be is the key words...I still hope that I will become your friend someday...soon....

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Forgotten God

"I don't want my life to be explainable without the Holy Spirit.  I want people to look at my life and know that I couldn't be doing this by my own power.  I want to live in such a way that I am desperate for Him to come through.  That if He doesn't come through, I am screwed."
Forgotten God by Francis Chan p.142

"I struggle to always and actually keep in step with the Spirit moment by moment.  To submit and give up everything truly is radical and terrifying.  However, when I think deeply about it, walking in my own wisdom, contrary to the Spirit's leading, is even more frightful.  Though I struggle, I know that ultimately I want nothing more than to live in total surrender and abandonment to the Spirit every moment I have left on this earth."  p.126

Saturday, October 24, 2009


"Time can play all sorts of tricks on you.  In the blink of an eye, babies appear in carriages, coffins disappear into the ground, wars are won and lost, and children transform, like butterflies, into adults."

The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


I read a great article 'There's a Balloon Boy Inside All of Us."  Here's some of the article that made me think about where do I find my worth and why do I search in those place.

"Why do we all obsessively check Facebook to see if someone has commented on our status or photo? Why do we measure the success of our existence by how many retweets it gets? Why do we Google ourselves?
It’s because we all want to be recognized; to have our existence affirmed. It’s a very basic human trait, actually. On Abraham Maslow’s famous “hierarchy of needs,” just above meeting basic survival/safety needs is the need to belong, to be loved, to be accepted, etc. And once we find “acceptance,” our next pursuit is usually to be “affirmed,” respected and regarded in a way that builds our self-esteem.
To put it simply, humans act in a large part for the acceptance of their peers. They want to be noticed. Humans are an image-conscious creation. Once our basic needs are met, we become increasingly concerned not just with ourselves, but ourselves through the eyes of others. Our own evaluation of self-worth is inextricably bound up in what others think of us.
But even if we can’t totally rid ourselves of the urge for fame and recognition, I think we can—and should—try to keep it under control. It’s healthy to want to be loved, to want to be affirmed. But where is that affirmation coming from? Other people? Tabloids? Google analytics? The number of Twitter followers we have?
As a Christian I believe that my ultimate value comes not from any earthly thing. I believe that my worth is found in Christ, who had nothing to gain from me and yet gave it all to save me. He sought me out and affirmed me as valuable, even if I don’t understand why or how. To know that, to believe it, is to be at peace with worldly anonymity. It’s freedom to live and create and strive for purposeful things without obsessing over who’s paying attention—to take risks and make mistakes, to be unattractive on occasion, and to take joy in flying in our little homemade balloons… even if there are no cameras around."

Dear Mr. Caribou Man (part IIX)

Dear Mr. Caribou Man,
Every time I walk into Caribou and see you sitting back and reading your newspaper, I get really excited.  Okay I'm a nerd, but you probably know that by now.  I like when things are predictable in my life; it gives me this strange sense of comfort.  So that being said, I was glad to see you on Monday and today, but just a little sad to not see you on Tuesday.  But your friend, Mr. Mayo Man, was there so that brought me a little bit of comfort.

Oh and I almost forgot, you wore jeans today!!!!  It was strange.  I have never seen you in jeans in the four months I have stalked known you.  Hmmm...why today?  I wonder if you wore them for a special occassion of sorts...maybe tomorrow you will tell me.

Until tomorrow my friend,

Last weekend....(a little late)

Kassie, Kelsey, and Kinsey all came into town for the weekend.  Can I say 'oh so much fun?'  Cause it was!  I absolutely love my sisters and I love them even more when all four of us get to hang out together.  We started off the Friday night by heading to the World Food Festival.  It was the first time that all four of us had had a drink together ever in our life....exciting times.  

We then headed off to the Miley Cyrus concert!!!  (Kassie was a great sister and bought us these for our Christmas present.)  Kelsey was gracious enough to burn each of us a cd of the concert set list, so we would know more than just two songs during the whole concert.  I realized (again cause I'm pretty sure I already knew this) that concerts are so much fun when you know all the songs.  Concerts are also so much fun when you can have a two hour dance party with your sisters!

After the concert since Kassie and I are old, we were wiped.  We made a quick stop at the not at all scary Walmart.  I forget why, but we took this cute picture to commemorate the experience and I thought I should share.

On Saturday my cousin's child had a benefit lunch, so my sisters, brother, dad and I went to that.  (Kelsey and Kinsey left right as I got there, so they did not get a beautiful picture with my face.)  Can I tell you that yet another reason why I love my dad is because the shirt he is wearing is by far his favorite shirt he owns.  He is a funny, funny man.  

Graham and I got to hang out to this weekend.  He also got to see and experience snow for his first time.  Kassie and Graham are coming back up in a couple of weeks, so I will get my baby fill again soon!!!  

Saturday afternoon I was hanging around the house with Kassie with not a whole lot to do and my mom was asleep, so I decided I should try on all my past prom dresses and bridesmaid dresses and try on Kelsey and Kinsey's past prom dresses.  I had a good hour dress up session.  I was pretty proud of myself that I could zip up almost all of them.  (I said I could zip them up, not that they necessarily looked pretty all the way zipped up.)  I'm glad that I can still find ways to easily amuse myself.

Finally Sat. morning I headed up to Hidden Acres to hear Ed Noble speak.  I ended up going back to hidden acres for the Sat. night session too. It was amazing to be back and give lots of hugs to women I love.  The sight above made me miss Salt company so much.  I know God gave me Salt for seven years for a reason and I know He has placed me somewhere else now for a reason, but I will always remember those seven years as a time where God used Salt to radically change me.

Random journal thoughts from the retreat....
-When you read the Bible, read it as it is your story, cause it is your story.
-Miracles are God saying 'no' to the darkness and death on and in this world.
-trust God, kaci, trust him
-Guilt and shame are overrated as forces for change in our lives...they can create conformity but not likely to bring transformation.
-What if I learned to run the race a little faster?
-We aren't too small that we won't have to fight great fights.
-Connecting with God when times feel dark....-quiet yourself...-God is doing way more through you than you think...-you really aren't alone...-believe that God is about to break through

Monday, October 19, 2009


I have a coworker, Jess, who really wants me to write a blog about her. 

This is my ode to her (yep it doesn't rhyme nor is it that clever, sorry this is all the creativity I have)...

So you're in a relationship
But you're in denial.

You like to say your non-relationship
is like a rhombus
But we all know it relates more to a stove.

You have 30 things you want to do before you are 30
You have 14 months today
That is 426 days.

I will be your cheerleader
Go fight win...
Well for most of them.

You live with your mom and grandma
What an interesting mix
Your eyes often see scary things.

I'm glad you sit near me
And I get to be your relationship counselor.

You make me smile
the end.

Thursday, October 15, 2009



Dear Mr. Caribou Man (part VIII)

Dear Mr. Caribou Man,
I got to sit right next to you today and say good morning to you.  It was wonderful.  You wore the same lime green sweater today.  You left ten minutes after I got there to go to Prarie Meadows.  Ten minutes later your sidekick friend came.  He was looking for you but was nowhere to be found.  He told me that you said you would be there today.  No worries, I informed him that he just missed you and you had to go to Prarie Meadows.
Until tomorrow,

Miley Concert

Kelsey wrote a great post about the Miley Concert, so you should check it out.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Why I'm thankful this week...
I'm really running a half marathon this weekend
my sisters and the arguments had and laughs we share
life routines
a connection group that I walk away thanking God for the gift of fellowship
prayers being answered in beautiful ways
jimmy john's #4
being able to part of something bigger than myself all because of a sacrifice of another
mr. caribou man
God wants to turn the dark places into holy places
being 25 and having a drink with my sisters for the first time
dance parties...oh how i love dance parties

Dear Mr. Caribou Man (part 7)

Dear Mr. Caribou Man,
Today Caribou was extra busy and there were no seats by you.  It made me a bit sad.  Today you had a new friend join you.  I did not recognize him.  I overheard his name was Scott.  You and Scott wear the same hats.  Where does one go about purchasing a hat like that?

Today you were also sporting a lime green sweater.  Way to rock it and show your youthful side.

Then two more friends came and joined you.  You went and sat by them at a big table.  As you guys were walking over your Mayo friend waved at me.  It made my day.

Until tomorrow,

Monday, October 12, 2009

weekend update...

I'm being slow about writing up an update for the past weekend's the mean time you can read Kassie's thoughts about it.

Here's a picture to get you excited about the sister bonding time :)

thought of the day...

Dear Mr. Caribou Man (part 6)

Dear Mr. Caribou Man,
It has been a long time since I have written to you.  Last Wed. I saw you at Caribou, but you had to leave early because the plumber was coming.  On Thursday, you read your newspaper and then you went and sat by your friend.  I said good morning to you, but you didn't respond; I will admit I was a little sad.  Friday you were no where to be found. 

But today you spoke to me!!!!  You asked me if I knew if we got mail on Columbus Day.  And then a lady came inside and asked me for directions to the library, so you and I together gave her directions.  Later on your friend came and sat by you.  When he was getting his coffee you told me about how your friend was just up at the Mayo clinic a few weeks ago and said they had a Caribou there and it had the exact same fireplace.  You were a bit shocked by that.  I don't think you have been to any of the other Caribou's in town because they all have the same fireplace.  But I pretended to be suprised by that fact too.  I'm glad that we are real friends now.  And that I got a chance to tell you to have a great day on my way out.

Until tomorrow,

just chillin' reading your newspaper

you and your friend solving the world's problems

Monday, October 5, 2009

Dear Mr. Caribou Man

Dear Mr. Caribou Man,
Today you were at Caribou.  I was running a bit late and was scared I would miss you.  But I walk in and saw you relaxing back reading your newspaper.  I had a sigh of relief.  Mr. Caribou Man you were back in action.  I thought today would be the day.  I would say hello and ask how your weekend was going.  But then your friend came and you went and sat by him.  So I sadly didn't get the chance to say hi.

ps I promise I'm not creepy; I just wanted to show the rest of the world that you are real, so I took a creepy stalker photo with my phone.

bucket list

I wrote this list five years ago and just found it today.  It's interesting to look at it again and to see what was important to me back then. 

get a black eye
go to Canada
train for and complete a marathon (currently training for a half)
get a pedicure (completed)
swim in the Gulf of Mexico
visit anywhere in Asia (completed)
see the sunrise on the Atlantic Ocean (completed in New Hampshire)
write a memoir (Kassie, Kelsey, Kinsey, and I are working on this.)
sleep under the stars with my husband (definitely not married yet)
climb to the top of a mountain and camp out
ride in a hot air balloon
dance in the pouring rain (I'm sure I've completed this on multiple times.)
be a mom (yep, still not married.)
write a letter to Sam
spend a day at a spa
see the Northern Lights
go to Disney World (completed thanks to Kelsey.)
fly first class
kiss someone on top of a ferris wheel
take a 1,000 mile roadtrip without a map
sleep on a beach
shower under a waterfall
go and watch an event at the olympics
learn not to say yes when I really mean no (I think I'm pretty good at this now.)
sit on a jury
read the Bible cover to cover (I'm about 75% of the way done.)
find a job I love (completed multiple times over)
make bread from scratch (completed on multiple times.)
go campaniling and become a true Iowa Stater
love the Lord with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strenth, and with all my mind.

Sunday, October 4, 2009


Why I'm thankful for this week....
new friends, new smiles, new laughs, new joys
a curious cousin who is always opening my eyes to view the world in a new way
a father who lavishes produce on me to show me his love
friends who are right and don't let me believe lies
spending Sunday afternoon reading at B&N
a job i love and working with people who make me smile
my abs hurt every time i laugh
ending a long run and feeling like i could still run several more miles.
creative four-square rules

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Saturday Evening Blog

So I thought I'd join Elizabeth for her Saturday Evening Blog Post. The first Saturday of every month she invites interested bloggers to link to one their posts from the previous month, whichever post they liked best. It could be their most popular post, most linked to post, or just something they think is fun.

I decided to link to my post about my blow your face away God moment. Looking back at that night, still blows me away.  When I was ready to give up, when I was done running the race, when I had decided to live in hopelessness, God said 'no.'  Even though I was pushing him away, He held onto me tightly, showing me the truth I needed to believe and gently opened my eyes to it.

So now you should go and read some other amazing blog posts that other people posted for the Saturday Evening Blog Post.


I am uninspired today. 

I have a feeling the twitter has ruined my blog posting abilities (not that they were ever that great to start with.)  I no longer think to myself 'oh that would be a good blog post,' but I now think 'how can I fit that into 140 characters.'

I hung out most of the day with my dad and cousin Jacob.  We picked apples at a random farmers house, canned some salsa, picked lots of gourds and pumpkins, went on a really long drive down gravel roads I've never been down before (classic dad move.)

Jacob and I also rocked out on some wii fit action.  I fell in love.  It is tempting to start saving up for a wii and the wii fit bundle for winter time.  But not tempting enough.  There are plenty of other things I need to buy with $300 before I could invest in a wii.  (That just reminded me of my desire to do Farell's extreme bodyshaping, maybe I'll save up for that and do that in Jan, that is a more tempting way to spend $300.)

Kassie will be back in Iowa on Friday!!!  Kelsey, Kinsey, Kassie and I will all be enjoying Miley Cyrus together.

I've saved up enough money to buy over-priced running shoes.  I'm hoping this will help with my knees throbbing in pain once I hit the 8 mile mark.  But here's the thing if I invest in these, I need to make it worth it.  By paying way too much for shoes, I definitely am going to make myself run at least through the end of December.  This is a really scary thought.   

Sorry about the lame and uninspired post, but I warned you.     

Friday, October 2, 2009

Dear Mr. Caribou Man (part 4)

Dear Mr. Caribou Man,
I could not go to Caribou this morning, but one of my friends thinks she saw you. That makes me happy. I will look forward to Monday now.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

day made

It makes my day when people admit to me that they read my blog. Today two random people randomly told me they stalk me at times. With every person that tells me that they read this blog, there's a little more pressure to actually write something that is entertaining or meaningful. But sorry to disappoint world, I'm not entertaining, cool or a good writer. I've come to terms with it, so I hope you have too.

Dear Mr. Caribou Man (part3)

Dear Mr. Caribou Man,
You weren't at Caribou yesterday or today. I'm a bit sad. Today I was so ready to say hi to you and ask you how your morning was going, but I couldn't. Tomorrow morning I won't be at Caribou either because I have a training at 8am. I have this feeling that you may have found this blog and figured out that I have a secret grandpa crush on you. But I promise Mr. Caribou Man I am not creepy. So please keep visiting your local Caribou at 8am.