Saturday, January 30, 2010


Today is my little sister's birthday....

She's turning 22....

Oh how I adore her....

Happy birthday!!!

Now I feel kind of old...She's!!!

Happy Birthday Kinsey!!!!

Friday, January 29, 2010

A warning...

Here's a warning from Lostpedia....

For all you Lostpedians who want to go into the sixth season premiere, "LA X," with no idea of the outcome of Juliet's Jughead detonation, I suggest you get off the internet from now until Tuesday. The LOST Sweepstakes prizes shipped today, which included a USB drive with the first five minutes of the season six premiere on them. I can personally say that it is the most spoiler-heavy piece of anything that's hit over the hiatus, so be careful if you don't want to see.

The video has a watermark running diagonally across it, so if you see a video with that watermark, don't watch it unless you want to be spoiled for the first minutes of the premiere.

Just a little note of precaution -- with it being the sixth and final season, we don't want any people being unnecessarily spoiled.

We look forward to delving into LOST with you all once again when the season premiere itself airs in the U.S. on February 2 on ABC.

Lostpedia - The Lost Encyclopedia

I know you are all concerned with spoilers as much as I am....

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Gold Nugget

I'm currently reading through Hebrews and I'm discovering lots and lots of gold nuggets.  Today I discovered this.
"Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he (Jesus) might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death."  Hebrews 2:14-15

I think about how often I have talked to people who are crippled by the fear of death.  I remember how crippled my mom was about the fear of death.  Talking to my mom about death, it was so obvious that she was held slavery by this fear.  It was weird because it was such a natural thing for us to talk about the tasks that would need to be done when she died, yet if you brought up death itself, she would almost have a panic attack and change the subject as soon as possible.

This verse reminds me Christ has freed me from this slavery.  Christ has saved me from fearing death because of his death.  Last night in the high school connection group we talked about 2 Cor. 5:17.  "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"  Brandon was giving an example of how if a follower of Jesus was to die, he could rejoice.  He believes in the exclamation mark at the end of this verse.  Because the new has come, death is not to be feared.  

Thursday, January 21, 2010


Life has been much better the past two days.  I just hit a low point on Tuesday and decided the world should know about it.

To lighten up the mood enjoy this:

The Onion has created a pretty hilarious video entitled "Final Season of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever", and Damon, a creator,  and Carlton, a producer, even join in.  So watch it.

Final Season Of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever

Oh how I am anxiously awaiting the premier...

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Today was a sad day.  I haven't had many of those at all recently and then driving home from working out, it hit me.  Hit me hard.  Like full out crying.  Like I considered pulling over and stopping because I'm sure I was a danger to those driving around me.

My grandpa is pretty sick in the hospital, but he's been in bad shape for a long time.  His family doctor calls him his Miracle Baby.  The test came back that 3 of his 4 passageways to his heart are 100% blocked.  He's too fragile to do any kind of surgery, so it is just a wait and see game.

Wow my heart is broken for my family.  If he passes away, wow, thats all I can say.  My aunts and uncles in one year would have lost their mother, their father, a brother and a sister.  And my dad would have lost his wife and one of his best friends.

I keep trying to comprehend how someone could go through so much pain.  I'm not sure how other people do it, but I know I have to believe in the hope that is to come.  I have to believe that God is good.  I have to believe that I have had hope in the past, that I have hope now, and that I will always have hope.

I think today was so sucky because I try to carry other people's burdens.  I want to fix problems.  I want to make things all better.  But there is no way to make this better.  It is just hard.  And it will always be hard.  And the thing is life will never get back to the way it was.  But life's course has forever changed.  It is going to look different and that is hard.  Different isn't bad, but different takes lots of time to adjust to.

A Side Note:  I think the hardest part about losing someone is knowing you can't make new memories with them in it.  The memories you have are all you will ever have of them...that boggles my mind and makes me really sad sometimes.

Why I love my family (Part 2)

Last night I went to the hospital again to visit my grandpa.  While I was there two of my aunts were there and an uncle.  As soon as I walked in, one of my aunts and uncle smiles at me and says "we've heard some good news about you."  I immediately say "I am NOT engaged."  They continue to talk about it like they think I am really engaged.

Seriously people I am NOT engaged.

I then tell my aunt about how the story took place.  How my grandpa (who is clearly a bit off because while I was there for an hour, he asked three times if he had had his test yet, which took place four hours prior) had misunderstood my dad and my dad got really frustrated and then just gave up fighting him and left the room.  She then did say, "I thought it was a bit strange because I sat in the hospital room with your dad for several hours and thought he would have mentioned it in person if you were actually engaged."

But then my aunt then proceeded to tell me I shouldn't get married on Valentine's Day.  I then clarify to her again that I am NOT engaged.  She then continued to talk about it like I was really engaged and that she believed my delusional grandpa over me.

Seriously my family is ridiculous.  And I'm pretty sure they all think I am hiding this big secret from them and that every time I walk into the hospital room, I am hiding the ring in my pocket.

So moral of the story:  My family will believe anything that is told to them and it is almost impossible to convince them otherwise.

Second moral of the story:  I am NOT engaged.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Cool contest I found to win free groceries for a year

"I like to enter contests. Whenever I see a drawing for anything, I will take the extra 20 seconds and fill out an entry form. I used to always fill them out twice, once with my name and once with my mom's. Which once led to my mom getting a call from the Ames Hy-Vee telling her she won a twenty pound turkey. The twenty pound turkey though is probably the only thing I have ever actually won with any sort of value. So in honor of my mom, I continue to enter pointless contests that I will most likely never ever win, but why not try, cause someone has to win."
Hey, I just entered this contest on to win free groceries for a year. All you have to do is put in your email address.

Even if you don’t enter, please click the link to help me win. (I get an extra entry for telling you.) Thanks!

Why I love my family?

My family is big, crazy, and family gossip travels like wildfire...

Saturday night I text my aunt Kate asking for any news about my grandpa (who's currently in the hospital.)  She texts back saying, "do you have any news?"  I then text back, "Ummm, why would I have news and then ask you for news?"  She then says, "news about a ring?!?!"  I then say "ummm, yep, definitely don't have news about that."

A minute later my aunt Amy texts me "Congratulations on your engagement!"  Umm, Amy I am not engaged....

Apparently my grandpa decided that since my dad and him talked about how I did not want to get married in the Catholic Church (someday in the future, mind you, not right now) that must mean I am engaged to be married (my dad did try his best to explain to him I am not currently engaged, though he wouldn't accept that as an answer after he had made up his mind that I was), so my grandpa proceeded to tell all of his visitors yesterday that I am engaged.

Now I'm on a mission to squash the rumor, though I'm pretty sure there is no way to convince my grandpa otherwise that this rumor is not true.

Just to clarify again, if you didn't pick it up in this post, I am NOT engaged and I would love all the help I can get to spread that word especially to my family.

Monday, January 11, 2010

starting the day...

"Entering the day without a serious meeting with God, over his Word and in prayer, is like entering the battle without tending to your weapons. The human heart does not replenish itself with sleep. The body does, but not the heart. We replenish our hearts not with sleep, but with the Word of God and prayer.” - John Piper

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Dear Mr. Caribou Man (part XXI)

Dear Mr. Caribou Man,
On Monday it was so good to see you.  You sat right down beside me which totally made my day!  You told me all about a trip you had taken to weekends before to see your grand-daughter graduate from college. (I was secretly wishing during this story that you were my grandpa.)  That weekend you and your wife had packed enough clothes for two weeks, but you were only going to stay for the weekend.  Your wife apparently likes to over pack.  But for some reason she wouldn't let you pack your winter boots and only let you pack your nice shoes.

And you say that is why all of the following happened....

You were walking down the street and it was really icy and snowy.  You all of a sudden slipped and fell which led to a giant gash on your forehead which led to lots of blood everywhere.  You were downtown Ann Arbor and didn't have your car, but a nice taxi driver offered to take you to the hospital for free.  You then went to the emergency room, had to get five stitches, and lots of test done to make sure your brain was okay.  In the end it was okay after you spent five hours in the ER.

And thus you blame your wife for all of this because she didn't let you pack your winter boots.

Until another day Mr. Caribou Man,

PS We also had a great conversation about your new studly hat.  You got it for Christmas.  It does look pretty great. (See above photo.)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

3 minutes

I was going through and deleting text messages the other day.  I saw that on Dec. 1st I sent a text to my boyfriend at 6:51 AM saying 'good morning.'  Then three minutes later I got the call from my father and all he said was "Kaci come home.  She's gone."  Wow it is amazing how different my life was in those three minutes, how much things changed.  

A cool story I was reminded of the other day which made me smile was the day before my mom passed away she was in the hospital.  I spent most of the day with her and spent the night.  That night, Ryan had come to the hospital to visit me and her.  Ryan and I went to another room to play cards.  When we left, my mom had me come over to her bed.  (Sidenote my mom was often known for saying things in a loud voice that should be said in a whisper/secret.)  And then she said in her normal voice "He's cute." and smiled.  I then went off to play cards and when I came back she was on the ventilator until morning when I left for work, so she couldn't talk.  I just realized those where the last words I heard my mom say in person.  It's kind of a cool memory to know that in her last words to me, she had given approval.  


Monday, January 4, 2010

A year in Review

Read lots and lots of frugal, healthy, homeschooling mom with lots of kids blogs.
Actually read lots of blogs in general.
freshman group
Privileged to lead an amazing group of sophomore women...and I got paid to do it
Overnights, so many overnights
The Tow's
First time to Texas
Trusting God
Failing to trust God
blessed by an amazing dad
Sleeping in a hospital room
beeping, so much beeping
sister bonding time
Loving on my mom
I'm an aunt
an unbelievable whirlwind of change
After seven years, said goodbye to Salt Company
A new home and family, Westwind
many of nights sleeping on a futon at gracious friends' house
moved in with Sarah
Tuesday night dinner and movie
AEA summer school
gone are the days of caffeine
A faithful God who heals
family time
my first real grown-up job
Mr. Caribou Man
family blogging
(Kelsey,Kassie, Kinsey, and Mom
an incredible amount of family bonding time
one phone call changed my life forever "Kaci come home.  She's gone."
tears, heartache

Sunday, January 3, 2010


I've started and restarted several times different types of 2009 in review blog posts.  How do you summarize a year where you experienced the highest highs you have ever experienced in life and you experienced the lowest of lows you have ever experienced in life?  And you have experienced pains that you have never felt before and you have experienced joys you have never felt before?  You can share the events, but there was so much more happening than just the events themselves.  So much has gone on in my mind, my heart and my soul.  So many things that are unexplainable in words.  So many things that I have yet to grasp the significance of.

I think about the year to come, what do I want of it.  Do I want lower lows or do I want higher highs?  I don't know.  But I do know, I want to know God more.  I don't know what that will look like.  Bring on lower lows or higher highs if it means I can experience God in a new way.

This year I stand here with my arms open.  God use me for your name's sake.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Your Hands

Everytime I've heard this song in the past couple of weeks in my car, the tears have come.  It expresses so much of what is going on inside of me that I can always put into words. 

Your Hands by JJ Heller

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands