Friday, May 21, 2010

Letter to My Mom (part 6)

To check out this series, click here.  To read my mom's blog, click here.  Why am I writing these?

Hey mom,

This week has been interesting--full of high and lows.

Melinda's friend, Tracey passed away on Sunday night.  I know your heart would have broken.  I didn't think that it would affect me much on Sunday, but then on Monday, it shook me a whole lot.  Lots of tears.  And it made me miss you too.  I sent dad a text that said "I miss mom a lot today."  He sent me one back that said "I miss her a lot too and I cry myself to sleep every night, stay strong."  He called me a few minutes later and we just spent a good five minutes crying together.  Mom you married a good guy.

This week we figured out sound equipment for the wedding.  Kelsey almost has the invitations done.  They just need to printed now.  You would have loved them.  I'll have to post them soon for you.  Ryan and I have most of the music figured out too; we just need to decide what song is going to play as we leave.

Last weekend I babysat Mallari.  She was precious.  I sadly didn't take any pictures, but I get to spend this weekend with her too.  So I will have lots of pictures to share next week with you.

Love your favorite,
kaci jo

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Dear Mr. Caribou Man (part XXXII)

Dear Mr. Caribou Man,

I know you have been anxiously awaiting what I did yesterday.  This is what I ended up doing.  Since she was walking around Caribou, in the middle of the place, I didn't want to tell her right in the middle that she had toilet paper hanging from her pants.  I made the split second decision to tell her coworker to tell her because she could take her to a back room and tell her.

I just thought it would have been awkward to tell her in the middle and then she feels like she has to pull it out in front of everyone.  Also I know if I was just drinking my coffee and I saw a customer go up to an employee and whisper in their ear, I would watch the interaction (cause I love to people watch) and thus notice the toilet paper that I may not have noticed before.  This way I felt less people would be watching and notice the toilet paper.

And just so you know, I was going to make sure she found out no matter what.  It never even crossed my mind not to say anything.

Until tomorrow,

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


It cracks me up that I get at least two or three people a day that come to my blog through this site.  Apparently Google thinks my blog is about Gammon Gold, Inc stocks.  

Dear Mr. Caribou Man (part XXXI)

Dear Mr. Caribou Man,

I know it has been a long time since I have written you last.  Today I was at Caribou but you were not there.  I have a moral dilemma I would like to ask you about though.

One of the nice barista's had walked out of the bathroom and it looked like she had a very large white tag hanging out from her shorts.  Eventually my friend and I realized that it was toliet paper.  The nice barista was walking around and picking up plates.  Here's the question what do you do?  Do you tell her?  Do you tell one of her coworkers to tell her?  Or do you just ignore the situation? 

If I told her then she would know that customers noticed it and I think that would be humiliating.  But if I told her she could take care of it quicker.  If I told one of her coworkers to tell her, at least she wouldn't know that the customers noticed it.  But then again if she doesn't get along with that coworker, they may be mean to her and tell everyone else.  Or if I just ignore it, that means she has to wait even longer to find out and lots of people will see it.

So what would you have done Mr. Caribou Man (aka all my internet friends)?  Would you tell her or would you tell a coworker?

Hopefully I see you soon,

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

another one of those days

I highly dislike the feeling of having to feel like I have to please everyone around has been one of those days.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

We're Writers

As I was driving my minivan (and oh how I love my minivan (except for the small turning signal issue)) today pondering life, I was thinking about all of the letters, notes, journals, emails, blogposts my mom left behind.

A lot.

Journals from when she was dating my dad.  Journals of each of her kids lives.  Magazine articles that were published. Short stories that were published. Editorials to the Perry Chief and Des Moines Register.  Weekly cards just because. Letters sharing why she thought you were the greatest. Emails sharing family gossip.  Emails of just memories she had because she didn't want those memories to die with her.  Blog posts of her weekly happenings (I printed off her blog in book form for my family for Christmas; I still haven't been able to bring myself to read it.)  Poems of her heartache when she lost her sister.

My mom left us a legacy.

A legacy that words are important.  They matter.  They last beyond your breath.

My sisters and I have been gifted with this legacy.  We are writers.  We love words.  We may not be the most eloquent, but we still value them above all.

I want to live that legacy.  I want to be a person that leaves words for her children.  A person that leaves words behind for the people around that she loves.  Words matter to people.  They show they are valued.  They are wanted.

I will live this legacy.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Question of the day

I would love some it if people left their thoughts behind as comments to this post.  Feel free to be anonymous.

I've been struggling a lot this week (oh to be honest, these past five months) with being alone versus being surrounded by community when it comes to my emotional health.  I definitely need time to be alone and process things and feel like I get very little of that time in my life.  I also know when I go through hard times it is easiest for me to want to be alone all the time (though that rarely ever happens because I'm a busy person.)

I've discovered when times get the hardest I want to run away and hide for my own emotional sake.  I think part of this is because I don't want to have to admit that I am in need, broken or hurt.  But also part of it is because I just need alone time.  I need time to refresh and be alone with Jesus.

I also know I hate crying in front of people and admitting I'm sad not because I'm ashamed of the actual act I just don't want the attention to be about me.  I strongly dislike being the center of attention. But I also know God has created the Body of Christ for a reason.  To rejoice with those who rejoice.  To mourn with those who mourn.  But that is so hard when you are the one mourning.

Where this ramble has come from is I am deciding whether or not I want to go to church this weekend.  I love the Body of Christ God has given me.  They are amazing people who desire to mourn with me.  But I don't know if I want those people to enter into that with me on Mother's Day because I don't want the attention to be about me.  I also would love some time with just me and sweet Jesus and my tears and no one else. So I'm not sure what I'm going to do....

I would love to hear your thoughts....

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Remembering the Joy in the Pain

I was reading some of my old blog posts this week and was reminded of this post which was this quote.

"...and you say, through the deepest possible pain, GOD is enough. GOD is enough. He is good. He will take care of us. He will satisfy us. HE WILL get us though this. He is our treasure. GOD, you are the strength of my heart and my portion forever." John Piper

It is amazing that the same words can speak to your soul deeply at very different times in your life.  The struggle in my life then was nothing like the struggle in my life now, yet God is still enough.  Through the pain, I still cry out to him.  I cling to him alone.  

He is my strength.  

This week is hard and Sunday will be even harder.  Yet I will cling to the hope that He will get me through this.  I will cling to the hope that He will comfort me so someday I will be able to comfort others for his glory.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Brokenhearted Love: Give it, Live it

Today I read this blog post and it spoke to my heart.  It is written by Molly Piper who two and half years ago had a stillborn child.  

Please go read it.

I want to be someone who gives broken-hearted love.  I want to be someone who receives broken hearted love.

This week has been another hard one.  On Sunday I was able to see one of my friends who just lost his father a few weeks ago.  After church I went over with the intent to pray for him, but instead I sat there and sobbed with him and his wife.  Sobbed.  And then I sobbed some more.  Eventually words were able to come out, but that took a while. I was only able to show love with my tears.  

I want to be someone who never forgets this pain. I want to be someone who can come alongside someone and unashamedly cry with them.  Comfort them with my tears, join in with them in the pain and love upon them.  That is my prayer.      

Happiness Project

so they say this is love


Monday, May 3, 2010

One Lovely Blog Award

Tabitha over at Taking Apart the Complexities That Are Me gave me a blog award.  She's a twenty something girl who trying to figure out how to live life to the fullest.  Thanks so much!

And to pass on the One Lovely Blog Award to:
TRS over at Single Solitary Things...I love reading her story.  It is like reading a good book anxiously awaiting the next chapter.
Lesli at wHiMsiCaL giRL....She always shares thoughts that make you ponder the deeper joys in life.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Saturday Evening Blog Post

One of the blogs I follow the first Saturday of the month host THE SATURDAY EVENING BLOG POST!
This is where bloggers gather on the first Saturday of each  month to share their latest and greatest blog posts!  I am participating.  You should go check out others best posts of the month here.

This month I've started a weekly letter to my mom column.  I've loved them all, but favorite, of course, was sharing my engagement story to her. 

I feel like April was a month marked by mourning and through that God has revealed more of who I am as a child of his.  God has taught me that I am That Girl and that being That Girl is 100% okay.