Wednesday, July 21, 2010

ode to sleep

Oh how I love my sleep
to fall asleep, through the night
where dreams are few
and awake refreshed

Yet here I am
dreaming
over
and
over
and
over

The wedding replays
and replays
and won't let me sleep

I miss my beautiful sleep.


Only 3 more days and hopefully I'll enjoy dreamless nights again :)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

the dance

'I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.'  -Jesus


i feel like i am living this life right now.  not because i'm getting married, not because i'm having an unusually good day, not because of anything that i have done.


i am because i feel like my dance with Jesus is beautiful right now, indescribable, intimate, personal.


dance, my friends, dance.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Ryan's Brick Story

The past two summers my church has done a series in the summer letting people share one of their brick stories.  God is completing a story in all of us and is using brick after brick to build us into the man or woman he wants us to be.  

Ryan got to share one of his most intimate brick stories this weekend.  I love this man for his boldness and faith in sharing this story.  I know it was hard for him, but him and I both know that God is going to use this story God has given him in absolutely amazing ways.  You could tell by the tears of the room and the stories we heard after church that God will be glorified by this.  I am so excited that Ryan gets to be my soon to be husband.  He is a man who loves the Lord.


Listen to his story here.


Sadly I just realized they started the recording a bit late, so here's the first part of his story and then you should listen to the last two minutes of it here.  



Right out of high school I met this girl, we had in inappropriate relationship and almost a little over a year after we had been dating we got married. I was 19, and although I was not following Jesus at the time the bond of marriage was something that was engrained into my being, it was something NEVER to be broken, and to do so would be a great disgrace. On June 17th, 2 days before my 22nd birthday I came home from work early and cleaned the  entire apartment hoping that I could spend an evening as a date night with my wife. But when I approached her she said the words that would send us eventually to a divorce. “I don’t love you anymore”. In the weeks and months that passed my hope that she would re-consider faded, as I received threatening voicemails. Then the divorce papers came, and as I reluctantly signed them a dark cloud formed over my head and a large yoke mounted my back. I felt as though I had been dragged through the mud. I was grasping the gravity of my sin all too well. I longed to turn to God, I wanted to know him, I wanted to be the prodigal son running home to the open arms of my Father. NO! How could he take me back?!? I am divorced who could want me....now go listen because it has such a beautiful ending.


Genuine Beauty

This this woman I have gotten to know through the last couple of months that I met through a friend, Deb.  Deb is an absolutely gorgeous woman.

It's almost indescribable the joy that she will bring into the room when she walks in.  I've never ever met such a genuine woman who truly believes in beauty.  I know this sounds strange.  But when you start talking to her, you want to see the world through her eyes.  Everything and everyone is beautiful to her.  She see God's hand in it all.

I've never once heard a slightly negative thing from her mouth.  I know that is why I am drawn to her and want to hang out with her.  Her words fill you up.  Her words remind you that God's beauty is here and now.

My friend has this theory that all women hate each other and all men don't know any different, so they get along.  He picked up this theory watching his three kids navigate through elementary school.  I'm seeing how true it is more and more.  Yet this woman defies this theory.  She is a woman who wants to honor everyone around her, especially the women.

She's the kind of woman I want to be.  I am so far from it now, but how I desire to speak such praises of the women around me.  

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Invitations



I had my very first legitimately lost wedding invite in the mail.  My dear friend emailed me and asked my wedding details cause she didn't get an invite.  Wow I felt so bad because I even remember writing her address on the postcard. I didn't really ever think things actually got lost in the mail.  I had so much trust in the postal system.  So if you think I sent you an invite and you didn't get one, still come!!!!  Cause there is a huge chance it got lost in the mail.  Or you don't think I sent you one and you want to come, still come!!!  No need to RSVP, unless you are bringing a whole marching band and then I might want to know.

I thought I would let the whole world know the details of my wedding because I would love anyone who would want to be there to share this day with us to be there.  So come and have fun!

Here's the typical wedding site we made.  So go check it out.

The wedding is July 24th at 10AM at the Sylvan Theater at Greenwood Park in Des Moines with a small breakfast in the park to follow.  If you need directions, go here.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Letter to My Mom (part 8)

Another part of the Letter to Mom series.

Hey mom,

8 days....yeah 8 whole days and then I'll be married.  It is so weird, but so exciting.

This past weekend one of my beautiful friends, Liz, got married to Alan.  Their joy was gorgeous.  The wedding itself was so good, but then came the dances with the parents and such and I lost it.  I was a big baby.  There was no controlling my emotions.

This weekend is my future (in 8 days future) next door neighbor, Abby and Tonio's wedding.  I know it will be beautiful too and so will the joy that will be present.  I have a feeling though my emotions will be a roller coaster again.

And then there is my wedding (did I mention only 8 days away?)  I have yet to decide if I'll cry like a baby.  But then again I don't really think it is something I decide, it will just happen.  So mom I'm pretty sure I'll be crying like a baby wishing you were there to see me given away by dad.  Wishing you were able to see my get married to the love of my life.

I know you would be slightly disappointed cause I know your dream was always that I would marry Clay Aiken and sadly proof of that will always be found on the internet.  (scroll about half way down.)  But I thank Jesus daily that didn't happen :)

I love you and think of you often.
kaci jo