Saturday, November 30, 2013

we knew

Saturday the 23rd

Ryan carries Porter in the kitchen. 'they've started. He's done it several times. I picked him up but they won't stop.'

I knew.

He didn't need to mention the words. We both knew.

Here goes.

We knew we were in the trenches. infantile spasms.  they were here, barging in our house. Invading our lives. Invading our precious baby.

Then they stopped.  several hours later they came again.  counting 1,2,3....19,20,21.  another few hours and again and again.

It felt like they wouldn't stop because they wouldn't.

Our precious would have just fallen asleep and this *insert swear word of choice* would come along and steal that sleep.

Evening comes on the 24th we head to MN for a Video EEG.  Within 30 mins of being hooked up, they come.  They continue to come throughout the night.  Clusters.

Morning comes, the doctor has seen enough.

Confirmation. infantile spasms.  the name sounds so innocent. Don't believe that.  they try to steal smiles, the ability to roll over, sweet eye gazes.

we praise God that we found them before he had regressed, many parents don't receive that blessing.

Now we wait. We pray.

Pray that the medicine works. That Porter will have rest before the next land mine blows.


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