Monday, September 30, 2013

God is For Us

What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? (Romans 8:31 HCSB)

God is for us

This truth is a struggle for me to grasp. To hang onto. To choose to believe.

He is for us. 

Our God is for me.

He hasn't thrown more and more on me, wanting me to drown. 

He isn't sitting on the sidelines hoping my family can't make it through this.

He wants us to run this race hard. He wants us to champion it. 

Not for our sake.

But for His sake. For His name.

God is for us.

This overwhelms me in a beautiful way. In a way that gives me strength to take another breath with joy.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

A Quiet Life

I love a busy life. I love adventures. I love discovering new places. I love to go. I love doing this with my three children.

But my sweet child...

She can't. She needs predictability, structure, routine, known expectations.

She needs quiet.

My heart longs for her to heal. I tell God I'll do anything to help. Anything to see a miracle of a crushed spirit become whole.  

He whispers 'quiet your life.'

'But God no, not that.'

Learning to quiet my life for the purpose of healing, for the purpose of my child, for the purpose of her fragile heart. It hurts. It's hard. Seems so selfish the pain in is selfish...

God make me more like you, make me selfless, give me the strength to love my child in a way you have called me to love her sweet soul.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

2 months

Two months

God has given you the gift of breath for two precious months.

God has given me the blessing of my third child.

For two months, we've been sitting and waiting.

Trusting in the Lord.


For more signs to show.

Your skin showed us and we knew we couldn't deny any longer.

Now we wait more...

Will seizures start? When? How many? How often? 

You smile.  You don't worry. 

You live each moment not knowing with a sweet contentment and peace.

Must trust

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Here Goes...

Life summary since May

Adoption day was perfect.  Friends. Family. Love. Surprises.  What a sweet blessing. 

'You no longer have to wonder. You're their parents forever. You're their kids forever.' -the judge 

A and E are ours.

Stay at home mom. Goodbye days at YESS. Bittersweet.

Therapeutic parenting...exhausting.  

Staycation. Small town celebrations. Family is so good for my soul. Perfect days at Grandpa Paul's with not enough Bomb Pops. 

Swimming. Parks. Bike rides. Sunshine. 

A baby boy

Sweet sweet baby cuddles

A heart murmur, waiting...

Too many doctor appointments...tears come and go

More cuddles. The world stands still as he sleeps on my chest.


Tuberous Sclerosis, a new child is remarkably and wonderfully made...must believe through heartache

Yet there is something perfect about his baby smile.  A gift that brings joy that can't be hidden.