There is something about knowing your child is delayed. It isn't as heart wrenching if it is just you and google trying to figure out where they are developmentally and what you need to do.
Don't get me wrong, Google has seen my share of tears, but Google doesn't judge those tears. Google doesn't feel the need to awkwardly comfort those tears.
It's something else when an expert tells you. When they tell you the numbers. Tell you not to pay attention to them. When they tell you with certainty that insurance will cover this or that therapy because the numbers are so low. That the numbers aren't even on the chart.
When you hear this, its hard to physically swallow. But you must because if you don't tears will stream down your face. And you would be a fool for crying because these numbers didn't tell you something you didn't already know.
The numbers feel more real though. The numbers you can't hide behind. The numbers try to strip my hope. The numbers show me we need to fight. I'm tired and weary. I don't want to fight but I must and will. We will fight for you Porter. We believe in you.